EXHIBIT A / THE INCIDENT

YOU ORDERED BONELESS.

WE'RE NOT HERE TO DEFINE “BONELESS.”

Crispy chicken. Reckless sauce decisions. Zero interest in participating in your group-chat argument about whether boneless wings are nuggets.

ORDER THE EVIDENCE VIEW THE ALLEGATIONS

LEGAL NOTICE: Chicken shown may be more delicious than your attorney recommends.

Tray of crispy sauced chicken wings presented like evidence

INCIDENT REPORT

TIME: TOO LATE
MOTIVE: HUNGER
ALIBI: WEAK

*You are absolutely going to destroy it.

THE CHARGES

FOUR COUNTS.
ZERO REMORSE.

Everything below has been photographed, documented, sauced, and entered into evidence. You're still going to order it.

COUNT 01

PREMEDITATED WINGS

Crispy, sauced, and fully aware of what they did.

REVIEW EVIDENCE →

Boneless crispy chicken pieces covered in sauce

COUNT 02

BONELESS, TECHNICALLY

Chicken without bones. Beyond that, counsel advised us to stop talking.

ASK NO FURTHER QUESTIONS →

Golden crispy chicken tenders with dipping sauce

COUNT 03

TENDERS WITH INTENT

No ambiguity. Just chicken strips behaving exactly as advertised.

SEE THE SUSPECTS →

Loaded fries covered with chicken, sauce, cheese and toppings

COUNT 04

LOADED FRIES, FIRST DEGREE

Buried under enough toppings to require excavation equipment.

BEGIN EXCAVATION →

OFFICIAL STATEMENT

“HE TOOK
A BITE.”

Everything after that is currently under investigation.

NO FURTHER
COMMENT

CHOOSE YOUR ACCOMPLICE

SAUCE MAKES EVERYTHING WORSE.

Pick carefully. Some of these can still be explained to your family.

01 MILD

For people who think mayonnaise has a kick.

COWARDLY

02 GARLIC PARMESAN

Your breath has formally left the chat.

EMPLOYABLE

03 HONEY BBQ

Sweet, smoky, suspiciously well-adjusted.

EMPLOYABLE

04 BUFFALO

The responsible adult of wing sauces. Unfortunately.

QUESTIONABLE

05 MANGO HABANERO

Starts with fruit. Ends with negotiations.

POOR JUDGMENT

06 THE WAIVER

Tastes like your browser history being read aloud at Thanksgiving.

SEEK COUNSEL

MOST WANTED

REPEAT OFFENDERS.

Our most frequently ordered evidence. Apparently nobody learns.

WANTED 001

THE REPEAT OFFENDER

10 wings + fries + ranch.

$16.99

Boneless chicken combo with fries and drink

WANTED 002

THE ALIBI

8 boneless + fries + drink. Conveniently difficult to prove.

$13.99

Large wing platter with loaded fries and dipping sauces

WANTED 003

THE BAD DECISION

20 wings + 2 sauces + loaded fries. Intended for groups. Frequently consumed alone.

$32.99

ORDER BEFORE YOU RECONSIDER

BUILD YOUR CASE

MAKE A SERIES OF BAD DECISIONS.

SELECT THE VICTIM

ESTABLISH QUANTITY

CHOOSE A MOTIVE

DESTROY THE EVIDENCE

Checkout before anyone asks whether this was necessary.

Busy restaurant kitchen preparing crispy chicken

OUR ALIBI

OUR STORY IS CURRENTLY UNDER INVESTIGATION.

We started with a fryer, several deeply irresponsible sauce recipes, and the belief that nobody needs twelve paragraphs about culinary heritage before ordering chicken.

We make it crispy. We sauce it aggressively. We hand it over before anybody asks unnecessary legal questions.

CRISPY If it bends, somebody has failed.

SAUCED Dry wings are an HR issue.

FAST Your lunch break is short and your standards are deteriorating.

HONEST-ISH Except for “boneless.” Apparently that's complicated.

WITNESS STATEMENTS

PEOPLE ARE TALKING.

WITNESS 04
“Ordered medium. Learned something about myself.”

★★★★★ / STATEMENT VERIFIED

WITNESS 11
“The fries disappeared before I got home. I was alone.”

★★★★★ / NO SUSPECTS

WITNESS 23
“I will not be answering questions regarding the ranch.”

★★★★★ / COUNSEL PRESENT

FIND A CRIME SCENE NEAR YOU

THE SCENE OF THE CRIME.

123 QUESTIONABLE DECISIONS BLVD.
YOUR CITY, ST 00000

(555) 555-0199

MON–THU 11AM–11PM

FRI–SAT 11AM–1AM

SUN 12PM–10PM

ORDER AHEAD GET DIRECTIONS

YOU ARE
PROBABLY HERE MAP PLACEHOLDER / CONNECT GOOGLE MAPS

CASE STATUS: STILL OPEN

YOU'VE SEEN THE EVIDENCE.

Do something irresponsible with it.

ORDER NOW