Bone-in or boneless. Six, ten, twenty, or enough that someone eventually asks whether you are expecting company.
Crispy outside. Juicy inside. Tossed aggressively in the sauce of your choosing.
Order WingsEvery order includes your choice of sauce. Ranch or blue cheese available because civilization still has standards.
Enough for one person who claims they are “not that hungry.”
The sensible choice. Which feels strange given everything else happening here.
Ideal for sharing. Also ideal for making sharing entirely optional.
From suspiciously responsible to tomorrow becoming somebody else's problem.
Add pizza, sides, or dessert and convert a snack into a fully documented event.
Six wings, garlic knots, and a fountain drink.
Ten wings, medium pizza, and garlic knots.
Twenty wings, large pizza, mozzarella sticks, and dessert.
Eight knots brushed with garlic butter, parmesan, parsley, and poor restraint.
Breaded mozzarella with marinara. Because apparently the wings needed cheese nearby.
Romaine, tomatoes, cucumber, onion, parmesan, and plausible deniability.
Five stars. Several stains. No regrets officially documented.
“The Hot Honey wings were sweet for about three seconds and then my evening became considerably more interesting.”
“Ordered twenty thinking we would have leftovers. That was optimistic and frankly disrespectful to everyone involved.”
“Tomorrow's Problem is accurately named. I understood the warning and proceeded anyway.”
We have reached the point where additional analysis is no longer improving the outcome.