THE MENU / ISSUE 001

CHOOSE POORLY.

Burgers smashed hard. Chicken fried properly. Fries with absolutely no respect for your plans later.

Fictional restaurant. Very serious lunch.

Double smash cheeseburger with crispy patties, melted cheese, onions, pickles, and house sauce

Smash Chicken Fries Shakes Extras

FLAT TOP / BEEF

SMASH

HOUSE FAVORITE

THE DOUBLE PROBLEM

Two smashed beef patties, American cheese, griddled onions, pickles, house sauce.

ONE PATTY

THE SMALLER PROBLEM

One smashed beef patty, American cheese, onions, pickles, house sauce.

THREE PATTIES

THE ESCALATION

Three smashed patties, triple cheese, grilled onions, pickles, house sauce, no explanation.

SPICY

BAD INFLUENCE

Double smash, pepper jack, jalapeños, crispy onions, spicy house sauce.

Close view of a double smash cheeseburger

HOUSE POLICY

If the edges aren't crispy, we have failed as a society.

FRIED / LOUD

CHICKEN

SIGNATURE

THE SITUATION

Extra-crispy chicken, shredded lettuce, spicy pickles, house sauce.

HOT

WE NEED TO TALK

Spicy fried chicken, pickles, slaw, hot sauce, cooling ranch.

BASIC IN A GOOD WAY

NO DRAMA

Crispy chicken, pickles, shredded lettuce, mayo.

CRUNCH REPORT

AUDIBLE FROM THE PARKING LOT.

That's not a feature. That's quality control.

Crispy fried chicken sandwich with lettuce, spicy pickles, and house sauce

POTATO / IMPORTANT

FRIES

CLASSIC

STRAIGHT-UP FRIES

Thin crispy fries, salt, no motivational speech required.

LOADED

FRIES BEFORE GUYS

Fries, cheese sauce, chopped smash burger, onions, pickles, house sauce.

SPICY

TEXT YOUR EX FRIES

Crispy fries, spicy cheese, jalapeños, hot sauce, fried onions.

Loaded fries topped with cheese, chopped burger, onions, pickles, and sauce

SHARING POLICY

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Management says they're shareable. Management is incorrect.

COLD / FINANCIAL

SHAKES

SIGNATURE

RENT MONEY SHAKE

Vanilla custard, chocolate drizzle, whipped cream, cookie crumble.

VANILLA

RESPONSIBLE DECISION

Vanilla custard. That's it. We're as surprised as you are.

CHOCOLATE

DIRECT DEPOSIT

Chocolate custard, fudge, cookie pieces, whipped cream.

Indulgent chocolate and vanilla milkshake with whipped cream and cookie crumble

FINANCIAL GUIDANCE

You can always make more money. This shake is here now.

ADD-ONS / CONSEQUENCES

EXTRAS

EXTRA PATTY +4

EXTRA CHEESE +1

BACON +2

GRILLED ONIONS +1

PICKLES +0

HOUSE SAUCE +1

Dietary restrictions?

TALK TO US BEFORE WE START COOKING.

Demo content only. Real restaurants should replace ingredients, allergen information, prices, availability, and dietary guidance with accurate information.